A Cycle

I don’t ever want to go to sleep again.  I love sleep don’t get me wrong. I just don’t want to have that disappointment of waking up. I am not suicidal, I promise. I just know if I go to sleep, I will be waking up to something….what exactly? I have no idea. All I know is that I will be at home where things are tense.

Will I be kicked out? Will I just be given the silent treatment by them? It has been an exhausting two days, and well, I need to rest. But if I sleep too long, will I be startled awake by some angry parent wanting me to do something? But if I sleep all day until I have to get ready for work, that would be perfect. But if I don’t do anything but sleep, I might just be feeding the growing fire within my home.

It’s exhausting. I should sleep. Better equip me for whatever challenges lie ahead. Because God knows this shit isn’t ending any time soon. I am just glad to be able to enjoy the sound of rain outside.