Change

I realize I really enjoy writing about “change.” Haha. But really, life as I know it will never be the same again!

The day that will change all days will not be New Year’s Day, but actually December 26th. The 26th is the only day I have off this calendar week from work. If this was any other day this would mean that I would just have another day off of work, and that’s it. But this Friday means that I have officially closed the chapter at working at my home store and will start working at this new store the 27th. It means that the comfort that I have aaccumulated over the thirteen months will be gone and I will be starting fresh at another store.

When I think about it closely, I panic. It took me FOREVER to finally feel like I understood retail just a little bit, and I HATED IT. Now, I am finally comfortable with my work and absolutely adore my coworkers, but then I am choosing to leave??

But there is a silver lining. I am so set on taking advantage of this situation and exploiting every opportunity I can get my hands on. I am so sick of working in a dead-end retail job, that really has no promise for me. I want to help in pharmacy, get my feet wet, and I want really help elevate the store if I could. But where I am at, I cannot. Not only do I feel like I am on probation with Big Brother watching my every move, but I feel like my manager does not care about what I want. Which, as a leader, she should. In addition, we are understaffed and it is the holiday season, so it is difficult to make any adjustments anyway.

My goal is to really dedicate some time to just finishing my pharmacy technician license. Get certified, train at my home store where I know the staff and confide in their knowledge, and then start job searching. The 27th is when I start this new transition to this new store and will hopefully be the catalyst to all of these plans.

If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans.

The 26th is also an important day for me because I will be spending time with my ex-boyfriend, and THAT also makes me panic. I am ecstatic to see him. So thrilled that I will be able to actually spend time with him after so long. But then I think about how I broke his heart twice and the things that I did whilst I hit rock bottom this summer, and I start to hyperventilate. I have to remind myself that seeing him this Friday does not guarantee a single thing about our future, and that I am not obligated to spill my guts about everything because really, the likelihood of us getting back together for the THIRD time is slim.

A girl can dream right? Well, that is my OTHER problem. I just so happily daydream about things, and I revisit old memories that make me smile and make me look forward to our future together and how……….UH what future together? Yup. I have issues.

So the 26th. In four days. Let us hope I am ready.