A lull…

It’s February, and although I know it’s only the beginning of the year, I know it will go by so quickly.

Why is that a problem? I just feel like time is flying by and I’m just stagnate. Decomposing in my locker. Molding into my couch. Ovaries are shriveling up kind of stagnate.

I don’t know if it’s because I am so busy presently with work and class, but I have a suspicion that it feels like the “calm before a storm.”

I have a lot to anticipate.

  • This weekend I get to go to a TobyMac concert – my all-time favorite Christian musical artist and on of my best friends from college will be down from Washington.
  • In March, I have birthdays, but I also need to start prepping for grad school apps AGAIN.
  • April, I have the long dreaded application season. I must remind myself that it will be different this year: I will be able to roll-over my application and therefore have everything but my personal statement, letter of recommendations, and official transcripts complete.
  • In May, I have tech week and my Dance Production performance which will require me to be available all week and perform my piece three times over two days. Reminder, I am NOT a dancer. I love dancing, but I have never been properly trained for a performance. Eek.
  • Also in May, and the DAY AFTER my performances, I have my first half marathon. I am getting really nervous for it because I have “officially” started to train and only got about 5 miles in the first week and am now sick. 😦 I haven’t been able to run for over a mile in a row yet because things keep coming up. The first time I tried, I was doing good so I though adjusting my shoes would be beneficial as they were a big lose. When I tried running again, I couldn’t! The soles of my feet were burning hardcore! My have been my socks. The second time I did this I was extremely sore in my right thigh. So as I resumed running, I could only limp. I shouldn’t have stopped running at all!
  • June. I have five days off. I want to go to Seattle/Bellingham but I am very wary about going alone. I haven’t been on a plane in over ten years, so it still makes me really nervous. Plus, it’s too adventurous and too good to be true. And I know when things are too good to be true, it is never true. So, I may do a weekend getaway to San Diego, or somewhere else that is local but vacation worthy.
  • July is free! I think.
  • August. The long anticipated Havasupai trip. Hip Hip Hooray! This means lots and lots of time dedicated to hiking and getting in shape, but also about $500 worth of expenses, which includes shoes and backpacks and camping fees, maybe even a helicopter fee! Which would be amazing. I CAN’T WAIT.
  • September. There is nothing…
  • October. If I don’t have school, I want to do another road trip to Zion, Antelope Canyon and the Grand Canyon.
  • November. nada.
  • December? Just my birthday and that is about it.

Phew. It feels a lot better listing everything out, but each major even has a lot of time and energy invested into it.

Yet, I still feel stressed and anxious. I have been eating my feelings because of it, or because I am sick? I’m just disappointed there has been no change in my overall health or weight, but I know I will keep sticking to it. I just wish I had some results instead of just getting sick, because I am tired of feeling discouraged.

A lull. Hopefully, with tonight’s rest, I will feel better tomorrow to face more challenges.