“They stole my gun…”
“She deleted me off Facebook…”
Just a few phrases I have heard in the last couple of days. Very different situations and varying degrees of safety, but the underlying theme is the same:
People are stupid.
I don’t mean to insult someone’s intellectual level by this statement. It does not refer to the years of education you may (or may) not have obtained in your life, but it refers to decisions people continue to make for themselves that involve and affect other individuals that do not deserve that kind of crap.
Kind guy (T) that houses his long-time friend, who is married to an ex-convict, to help as an almost halfway house to get them back on their feet.
A year and a half later. Signs of a money jar being tampered with. A locked door forced open. A stolen gun.
Seriously? Talk about a perfect example of biting the hand that feeds you.
Two girls meet and work together at Walgreens. Third girls joined the group and befriends Girl #2 and battles with Girl #1. Time passes, Girl #2 leaves the store, and all become friends. Girl #1 and #3 play a prank on Girl #2 for a friendly store fundraiser, and #2 overreacts, takes it too personal, and never ever acknowledges her actions. #1 and #2’s friendship is strained and never comes back to the way it was. (Did you follow that?)
She is my GURL. #niknayBAE.
One of the most loyal individuals I have ever met, who would literally do anything including offering to house Girl #3 (me) when her parents threatened to kick her out of the house. Love her. Ride or die type of chick that you would want in your corner always.
Super cool too. Very driven and motivated. Goes 100 miles an hours. Ability to get along with a lot of people. BUT…too busy. What do I mean by that? Always has class. Alway has homework. Always needs to go to the gym no matter what. Sadly, that is not all. She cancels plans last minute, cannot make it “after all”, and it happened so often that it became a joke between Girl #1 and #3. “Don’t be a (insert name here) and flake on me!” Yeah, sad.
That is still not all. You go on her Facebook and clearly she has plenty of time to spend. But not with anyone else except her “sister.” They go to the gym, to dinner, to the movies, to San Francisco, to San Diego, to get coffee, to go dancing, to do anything with. She has no trouble advertising on Facebook.
But seriously, she made plans with me to go see a particular movie, which in the years I have known her is something she NEVER has done before. (I know it may sound like I’m being dramatic or over sensitive about the whole thing, I mean come on, I’m upset over a little movie? But just keep in mind that I’m speaking over a long period time. I’ve known her for about two and half years, and I have been the one that has constantly nagged and begged her to hangout.) So she makes plans with me! I’m excited! A couple days later, I see on FB that she went to go see that movie with her BFF. Really? Who forgets something like that? Oh, wait, she does.
I could really go on and on about how upset she makes me. But why? Because stupid people take advantage of other people and I don’t care who you are, that is WRONG.
I looked back at our text messages and she would only contact me because something was going on and she needed a friend. If she happened to run into #1 for some reason and needed to vent about her. If her boy toy came back into her life and was making her emotions run wild. If her father fainted from anger when she brought boy toy home. If she got an abnormal read on her pap smear and was all out of sorts.
Friends listen and are there for each other right? So, of course, I did just that. I did it happily. But when you look back and you realize that you are being a friend to someone time and time again for over two years, and it is not reciprocated? Well it just becomes clear what kind of relationship you have.
Or when someone houses someone else for over 1.5 years and then you have to start locking your bedroom door and hiding your values because you’re worried for your safety? Come on.
People are stupid.
But I would be more stupid if I didn’t do anything about it. If I didn’t give myself some damn self-respect and made a decision regarding my friendships or relationships. And I have. Someone who is only interested in receiving a friendship from someone else and not willing to make an effort in nurturing and developing a healthy relationship is, plainly put, not worth having as a friend.
I know I have friendship and boy insecurities. But right now, I don’t even care. And it shouldn’t. If someone isn’t treating me with the same care that I am treating them? If I have done everything I could to establish something and nothing results?
Hasta la vista. Your loss. No freaking regrets.
Ps. T called the cops. Long story short: Roommates are gone. Gun is still gone. And the husband (T’s friend’s husband) has a felony warrant. Crazy, right?