Skinny bitch.

In June 2015, I took a microbiology class over the summer. I got up close and personal with my feelings.

Let’s just say that I ate them all the time…..ALL. THE TIME.

I gained 15-20 pounds in 8 week. Why was I never told that education could be so cruel??

I get it though. I was stressed the heck out, I ate (and lived) like a slob, I would not exercise, and I got between 4-5 hours of sleep each night. Plus, I worked full time, so the added stress there just was doing it for me. Really, who would blame me for gaining so much weight?

I was actually forgiving of myself for it. Surprise, surprise. Usually I get super down about it because my weight has always been the source of my image issues. But I knew that once everything got back to normal and my routine would be reestablished, the weight would come off. Right?

WRONG!

I am already tightly wound person. Highly strung. Uptight. Whatever. You could not tell if you looked at me. But the added stressors in my life from that class would be gone, my cortisol levels would fall as a result, and weight loss would be imminent. Plus, I would start sleeping better, eating better (or just eating less), and I would have time to exercise.

Now all of that did happenBut the weight? Ugh. I reached my highest recorded weight to be 184. Now, almost 6 months after the end of my class, I am only at 179.

What went wrong? I have no idea.

With the New Year, of course my resolutions included my health and getting in shape. But there has been a reluctance in that I start and then stop quickly, or that I do it half-heartedly. Can I hear an amen?

I have every type of motivation. None of my clothes fit and I cannot afford new clothes, I have diabetes and heart disease running in my family, my self-esteem suffers, I hate the way I look, I have a bunch of super cute bikinis in my closet. But most importantly, I am tired all the time, and my back and joints hurt all the time. I have some alignment issues that will not go away and so I am trying to self-medicate by exercising and stretching.

In an attempt to get organized, I have been making changes in my life. To begin, I have started to declutter my personal space and clean up after myself. Why is this so hard and as a result, such an accomplishment? Well, my sister and I were raised to be scholars, and not housewives. I think the only thing I really started doing was my own laundry at an early age, but that is it. We literally were told to go straight to the books, and my mother did ALL of the cooking and cleaning. So, as a result, we grew up with no home-keeping skills and we are paying the consequences.

Anyways, as an adult, that does not really fly especially as a woman with ambition and a strong sense of independence. Knowing my parents, who would not want to be independent of them? I digress.

Anyway, a change has started. I decided to organize my life slowly but surely.

Most importantly, I decided to be a Skinny Bitch. I know not everyone will agree with that term. Why do you have to be skinny to be happy? Why do you have to use foul language?

Trust me. I am a woman with curves that will probably never go away, and I am okay with it! I joke around with the people I love about being a skinny bitch, but here I use it as an attitude, a mentality. People who have great physiques have devoted time and effort into their bodies which is the admirable. You do not have to be skinny to embrace that, you just have to channel your inner Skinny Bitch to appreciate it 😉

Okay, enough. All that to say, that this week is different. I have meal prepped for the Seven Day Slim Down from Tone it up (#7DSD), and have officially started the Bikini Body Guides (BBG) by Kayla Itsines.

I am starving all the time, but I already feel changes, and I am happy 🙂