Can anyone share in the excitement that builds in your mind when thinking about adventure and new hiking trips?
It has gotten to the point that if I have important deadlines to meet, I allow myself time to ponder about hiking and such nonsense only as a treat for finishing my tasks. Nothing has ever motivated me more!
Anyhow, it was one silent night that I was musing over all things nature in my brain and going over the mental checklist I needed to create for my trip to Catalina Island for the TCT. This trip is literally NEXT MONTH, and I cannot get over how quickly that is going to fly by. I even cancelled my other Catalina Island Vacation (not backpacking trip) in April so that I could allow more times to pick up shifts at work, get a refund, and to give myself time to complete the City Slicker Challenge.
I thought to myself, “I am leaving May XXth and will be there until May YYth.”
May XXth….May XXth……
Now why on earth does that sound familiar?
I quickly checked my calendar on my phone as a I had a hunch, and later confirmed in a journal I had kept at the time.
Three years ago on May XXth, I had concluded a weekend trip with my then boyfriend J. Our weekend was spent ignoring our problems, pasting on fake smiles, and forcing laughter and insincere chemistry between us. Long story short, that day I had come to the conclusion that this relationship was not going to work and was not worth entering a long-distance commitment. That Sunday, we briefly talked about the fact that we did not address ANY of our problems that weekend, and I left in a huff–truly disappointed.
Now, on May (XX+2)th that same year, I ended up breaking up with him and I entered a SIGNIFICANT time period for three years, where I wasn’t ever truly single. Let us just say that it was complicated AF.
Two days later, May (XX+4)nd, I attended a volunteer shift at the hospital and T decided to pick up a day shift as well. It was on that fateful day that we met for the first time and our chemistry sparked.
Now, when shit hit the fan involving T and my family, I specifically remember frantically trying to come up with solutions that appeased all parties involved. The one solution that made sense to me at the time was to wait. I figured things had escalated too much, too fast, and we need some perspective.
I told T, “Why don’t we take some time apart to deal with this situation?”
I strongly believe that if things are meant to be in my life, they will turn out that way no matter what happens in between. So, at the time, I figured that if God really wanted him and I together, despite the current circumstances, we could wait for a specific period of time with that in mind. I told him, maybe a year, get to know each other, but the time that really stood out in my mind at that moment, was to spend THREE YEARS living life. I would be in my late twenties by then (ew), my friendship with him would have developed, and my relationship with my parents would have improved. He did not go for that idea.
But gess what? IT HAS BEEN THREE YEARS. It will be three years to the DAY that I will be out in Catalina Island doing a thru-hike that I had wanted to do with him. I think it would have been more epic to do it solo, and although I am not, it does not change the fact that I am still SO VERY PROUD OF MYSELF. And given the more recently circumstances that transpired this last month that allowed me closure and relief in my broken heart, I cannot wait to physically accomplish this trail with the knowledge that it marks a significant period in my life. Three years later, and I truly starting over.
However, more recently, I was looking through my photos on my phone. I have taken an insane amount recently and have been filling up my storage too much that I must delete them now.
Anyway, I finally caught up to 2016’s photos when I came across May XXth……
May XXth, EXACTLY A YEAR BEFORE MY TCT TRIP, is the day that my pseudo-relationship with C began also. I will not go into details, but man, I could not believe the coincidence, and that it did not dawn on me sooner. ANYONE ELSE THINK THIS IS WEIRD!?
This relationship ended already, but it makes #TCT2017 even more significant.
My heart will be healed in not one, but in TWO places, and the fact that it will be on the trail warms my heart so so much ❤