Nervous AF. TCT.

Not going to lie, I am having major and minor anxiety about this trip. It is happening in less than one month–in exactly 23 days per my countdown app, and I am freaking out.

I am officially in debt from all the crap I bought. I am going with a stranger. But mostly I am worried about the physical demand from this trip.

Do I have what it takes to tackle the insane inclines and declines? I do not know. I do know that I do not have the experience other people have with hiking and backpacking. I started in AUGUST 2016. That is not that long ago and quite frankly, it worries me. Not to mention, my hiking partner is much more experienced than I am and definitely in better shape.

I know I decided on this trip for me, but I cannot help but worry that I may sabotage this trip for her if she has to constantly wait for me.

Because of my (possible) physical limitations, I am worried about weight and what to take. I have received an order of Mountain House food, and have began to meal prep, but am still kind of anxious about eating healthy and still at a loss about how to prepare. I know I have been backpacking before, but it still all feels very fresh to me.

And then….I have to remember. This anxiety is part of the process. I remember this part of my Havasupai trip last year VERY CLEARLY. It is something new and exciting and definitely out of my comfort zone, so to be freaking out is normal. It also means that it is very important to me.

I do also know that I am an athlete at heart. As long as I can get through my breathing limitations, I shall be able to rally and get through it all. I have also begun working out and eating better. Granted, I started yesterday (haha), but I have my plan for the week as far as my exercise regime goes and going on some long hikes. Not to mention, I did an 8 mile hike after a couple weeks hiatus, and I felt good. So, when I’m not freaking out, I am feeling pretty positive!

I have also started focusing more at work to get some miles in there. For instance, today? I also walked about 8 miles at work. So I want to start hiking more than 12 miles by next week, start adding some more significant weight, or strength training as well. With more exercise, and eating better, the weight will fall off, or I will just look better haha.

Plus, everything gear-wise is falling into place. So I have to be grateful–despite the major debt I find myself in. LOL. Anyways, I am feeling better. As far as doing the TCT with a perfect stranger? I think things work out for the best, and if this was not meant to happen, it would not have fallen together with this lady so well. We are adults, and I am sure we can work something out so that we both benefit from this trip.

Still….I CANNOT wait for it to happen. ❤